Last Day

Okay, so yesterday was the last day of the 15 day reboot and like I had predicted, I was unable to blog. You know... having a baby and all :D

It was an amazing, long and emotional day as most births are but well worth all the anxiety. I wish I had prepared a little better in the food department because I got to the part of starving where you feel like your insides are trying to stab through your flesh so they can get out and find themselves something to eat! Throughout the many hours of the day I had one juice, 2 apples, a banana and a snack baggie of celery and carrots. Not enough!

When I got home last night I gulped down some juice and went to bed before it even had a chance to get passed my esophagus. I pee'd many times during the very short night. lol

Today marks the beginning of a new phase and honestly, I just don't know what the phase will be. I will be incorporating some whole grains and will continue along the vegan path. I really am enjoying it and there's actually more options than I ever would have known prior to beginning this lifestyle.

Anywhoooo.... I'm off again to snuggle the newest addition and I'm guessing that I will miss tonight's blog as well but will get the update posted as soon as I can.

14

Oh it's late.

Today has been a long day of cleaning and preparing the house one final time before the newest addition to the family arrives.

Times like this I would normally allow myself to go for whatever is easy as far as meals go but I was strong and maintained my 14th day well.

Had juices for breakfast and lunch and we went out to dinner (the last time that will happen for awhile) and I had a roasted artichoke. Not much of a meal but it suppressed the hunger and then I ate a bit more when we got home.

I'm at some-what of a plateau with the weight loss but I'm guessing part of that is the fact I was so hungry during the 5 day juicing only phase and wasn't getting enough calories. I'm sure the plateau will take another dip soon.

Anyway, tomorrow is the last day of the reboot and I have to admit, I'm looking forward to less rigidity. I like the structure and not having to guess at what to have since choices are fairly limited but I really need a bit more variety; some whole grains here and there. Not looking to change things up much more than that but it will be nice to mix some brown rice in with my salad saute's or have a piece of toast once in awhile.

Tomorrow is going to be crazy cool. Crazy and cool. Baby Madison will arrive and that will definitely be cool. The crazy part will be coordinating everything. Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes smoothly.

I'm going to do my best to blog tomorrow but I'm just not too sure if it's going to happen. If it doesn't, it's because I'm at the hospital holding a new bundle of joy :D

night night

Day 13

Such a lucky number ;)

Good thing I'm not too superstitious because today was busy and I had not prepared well enough for a long day away from the house.

A salad and a gazillion carrots later, we made it home and I whipped up a nice salad saute. Very tasty and oh so nutritious.

Today is my honey's birthday and she had to spend much of the day filling out pre-op papers and giving blood. Poor thing. You'd think I would have felt sorry enough to make her a cake... umm, I'm not that strong yet, especially on a 'not enough food day'. Sunday we will celebrate. I will make her cupcakes or beg someone else to do it!

Happy birthday! I hope that having a boring 40th doesn't mean that we're now boring. lol

I guess it wasn't too boring... nearly had a baby :P

So, only 2 more days in the 15 day reboot then it's up to me how I want to continue and I'm thinking hard about what will work best for me.

I like the idea of being vegan and it obviously works well with my tummy so looks like a plant based diet will continue. The part I'm trying to map out most is where the juicing will fit in on a regular basis.

I've come up with a plan of at least 1 juice a day to replace a meal and 1 full day of juicing, once a week. I'm still working out the kinks with that because I need something that I can be consistent with and yet, not totally go out of my element and make things inconvenient for the rest of the family. I'm open to suggestions if any of ya have ideas.

Ok, until tomorrow... night night :)

The 12th Day of Juicing...

My true love gave to me, an appointment to have a baby :P

Yep, we have a date for Madison's arrival. Thank goodness I completed the juicing fast portion, can't say I would've made it with the additional stress of childbirth, toddler care and mommy's recovery.

In other news, I had a 5 chapter exam tonight in my Political Science class & I did very little studying but with my clear mind and excellent note taking, I think I did ok. I really feel like a couple light bulbs have turned back on in my brain. (a few more panels of bulbs & I'll be out of the red. lol)

In other, other news, tomorrow is Dena's 40th birthday. Wow, a few months from now & I'll be in the "over the hill" club. haha!

40 is the new 30... or so I'm told ;)

And finally... in other, other, other news... in 12 days of juicing my blood pressure is down nearly 20 points. Before I started this I was getting pretty scared with how high it was but didn't want to go to the doc- they would just tell me to diet & exercise (knew that part already) and put me on meds which if I'm being completely honest, would just enable me to continue on without changing my daily habits.

Anyhow, no meds are necessary now as my bp's are within normal range. There's still room for improvement but I'm out of the danger zone :)

Ok, I'm off to stock up on precious sleep because as of Thursday... everything changes!!

Phase 3 woohoo!

Such a wonderful day!

Funny how I was totally trippin about not being able to chew anything and when I woke up this morning I made juice for breakfast. lol

Lunch was a bit crunchy with a veggie stir fry and snacks throughout the day included celery and carrot sticks. Yummm!

Dinner is the best of all... large green salad with a ton of crunchy stuff and vegan butternut squash soup. Oh my goodness, the house smells so good!

So, after 5 days of drinking juice, today has been such a blessing. My teeth are very grateful to be in use again :P

In terms of attitude; today has been a major improvement. I haven't been completely famished all day. There have been hungry times but carrots and celery at my disposal have helped.

I think that today has been so nice because I knew I would get to cook. I've actually missed cooking up something tasty for myself. Now I get to make everyone else in the house jealous instead of vice versa. lol

Ok, off to eat my soup. Yes, it's a late dinner night for me but I'm sure it will be worth it :)

Phase 2 comes to an end :)

Oh boy! Did this day suck of what?

Yeah, kinda.

I suppose it could've been worse but really, I'm so glad to see the end of phase 2. I honestly didn't think I would make it through this. When I woke up this morning I was totally going to say screw it and eat a salad for breakfast.

After 1o minutes of irrational thinking, I sat down with a cup of coffee and found the will to make it through the morning, then the afternoon and the evening. It's been a tough process today but I made it.

I bitched the entire way through so it wasn't pretty and I'm sure that even if I wanted to try 5 days of juicing again, I wouldn't be allowed to :P

There's a strong possibility that I will do 3 days at a time but can't see myself signing up for 5.

Ok, so the countdown is on for midnight to get here so I can eat something crunchy. lol... you think I'm kidding don't you? ;)

Physically I have been tired today, my muscles are a little sore and yes, I've been cranky. I'm guessing it's due to hunger so it'll be nice when chewing food is part of the program again. On the upside, I've lost 11 pounds in 10 days and have had Tums only once :D yayyy!

Day 4, Give Me Something Crunchy

The new juicer arrived around 12 today. I had been waiting on it to make some juicy breakfast. That was probably my first mistake. You would think that I would have figured out by now that eating shortly after getting up is a good way to stay ahead of the hunger game. If I wait, then I'm playing catch up all day... and just not making any headway.

The delicious green drink was soooo tasty!! Of course, I was pretty damn hungry so I probably could have gotten down my drink from the other day without too many problems ;)

I had been craving spinach so badly all day yesterday so today has been very green. Such a nice change from all the fruit!

This phase has been a true test of will.

I have always liked crunchy food. When I'm eating, I like to feel like I'm working at it somehow. Unfortunately, most of the crunchy foods that I was eating came in bags of Lays or Doritos. Now I just REALLY want to eat a salad. I swear I'll be good. No dressing... just lots of crunchy veggies.

Well, I only have one more day to go then I can put my teeth back to work! Until then I will suffer. Solely drinking food just isn't natural and it sure doesn't help that everyone around me is eating all the normal stuff and the smells are marvelous! Apparently, when you're hungry the sense of smell works harder as a matter of survival- great! lol. And then of course there are all the pregnancy craving snacks and meals that just make me want to scream but at least the baby isn't growing inside of me ;P

I have no problem continuing on with the plant based diet after this but I can't say that I will commit myself to 5 days of only juicing anytime very soon. The way I feel... if I can make it through this... I can make it through anything! Maybe that's a bit dramatic but honestly, today was pretty tuff!

Day 4 is almost done! Bring on day 5 so I can kick it in the ass and chew some food!

I'll start counting down the hours now!

My teeth need exercise

Day 3 needs to end.

Day 4 needs to come so it can end.

Day 5 needs to get here so it can go as well!!

What I wouldn't give to eat some celery or a carrot... anything crunchy at all!

I was worried that my teeth would get lazy and they are itching for some work. In class tonight I was repeatedly reminded of how awesome chewing is by listening to classmates munch on corn nuts, cheetos, and sunflower seeds. The constant crunching nearly sent me over the edge but I took a breath and a big swig of some Naked Juice. That's what I'm surviving on today since the juicer is broken and the new one doesn't arrive until tomorrow. Problem with these juices is that they are all so sweet. Here I am totally loving the taste of spinach juice and now I am being tortured with an invasion of sweetness.

And... I had to take a Tums! AAAggh! All these days without them and I go and get heartburn. Such a bummer but at least it was just 1. Much better than the 4 at a time, several times a day. Anyway, I'm guessing it's due to the pineapple juice that are included in the drink. I'll be very happy to get my new juicer so I can continue to create my own concoctions again.

Speaking of concoctions... I did my best to blend drinks in the blender and ugh, not successful. The fruit puree's are fine enough but like I said, I'm done with the sweet factor. Unfortunately, vegetable puree is not nearly as tasty as fruit. I love me some spinach but not in the form of a slurpee :P

Alright... enough whining. Only 15 more minutes til this day is over. If I go to sleep now, tomorrow will come faster. haha

Phase 2, Day 2.... 22 :)

Today I woke up with a great amount of energy and ambition. There continues to be a huge list of things to do before the baby gets here and then the list repeats itself after a week or so. Definitely a good time to have extra energy!

So, day 2 of phase 2 has been a success. A little side note, 22 is my favorite number so you know, 2,2 is a good day for success. Yeah, I know I'm a dork :P

My first drink this morning was soooo awful I was gagging and had to start over. Ugh. What a waste of time and vegetables but I'll know better now. Since that horrible mistake, all the others have been tasty and I haven't been chasing the hunger away like yesterday.

A munchkin size catastrophe happened this evening when I turned my back in the kitchen and 2 year old hands grabbed the handle of the juicer and it went clanging to the floor :0

Yes, the juicer is broken but neither the munchkin or I have broken toes. It was the craziest and slowest 10 seconds.

Until the new one gets here, there will be a lot of improvising trying to juice drinks in the blender. lol. I'll let you know how that works out ;)

In other news... I lost another 3 pounds. Total is now at 9. Seems like a good start. I'm not doing this solely for weight loss but that's obviously cool. We keep watching documentaries on plant based diets and I'm sold. There are numerous health benefits. Living without Tums is by far the greatest achievement I've experienced so far. Ok, I'll quit with the Tums but I just don't think you understand how awesome it is.

Ok, that's about all I've got to say tonight. I'm a bit distracted with tv premieres this week so I've gotta get back to watching :P

To all my "fans"... Thanks!!

Second phase

I'm not gonna lie... today was not easy but I made it!

Started the day with spinach, carrot and celery juice blended up with some blueberries and raspberries. It was tasty but the coloring was not pretty, it turned out a lovely shade of brown. I added more raspberries to make it a little more red. Odd how the color of shit just doesn't look appetizing. haha.

The rest of the day I spent mixing this and that, playing catch up with a rumbling tummy. It's amazing how quickly juice goes through ya.

I pee'd a gazillion times! Typically in a public restroom I will use the toilet seat protectors cuz I'm a bit freaked by the germs but goodness... there was no time for being a germaphobe! Sit as fast as possible or umm... there was gonna be a peepee problem. lol. I know-TMI.

Tonight I had a pretty mixture of beet, celery and carrot juice blended up with some blueberries, raspberries and a banana. Looked good and was super tasty! For the first time all day, I'm not starving!

I've got a little juice vroomed up for the morning that I can throw in the blender with some fruit. Having a head start to the day will hopefully make things go a little more smoothly and help me get my head on straight so I can prepare drinks for the day. I knew preparation was going to be key but even with that knowledge I wasn't able to keep up. Now I have more of an idea so hopefully it'll be a little easier tomorrow.

So, last night was the best sleep I've had all week. Not sure why but maybe just because I've slept like crap every night prior. Either way, I'm not complaining. I had a great amount of energy today and got a ton of stuff done without too much effort.

All in all... feeling pretty great!

It's weird to only drink food all day long. I feel like my teeth will get lazy over the next 5 days ;)

I can't wait to eat a carrot. lol

Night all :)

Ahhh.... bliss :)

Yessss! It happened. Peace and calm have replaced anxiety and chaos. This gives me that little boost of momentum to motor me into the next phase... 5 days of juicing only.

I have to admit that I'm a little concerned about the next step. We have an erratic schedule and preparation is going to be key. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.

A couple of positives over the last 5 days...

*A total of six pounds lost. Hey, it's a start.

*A very noticeable increase in energy! Very helpful with a toddler and a baby on the way :P

*A renewed appreciation for the tastes of fruits and vegetables.

*All day long I have been in awe of the fact that Tums has been eliminated from my diet. I know I've mentioned this a few times but really, the discomfort of heart burn is such a bummer and not having to deal with it AT ALL is definitely a bonus that I hadn't expected and yet the one I enjoy the most!!

It's late and day 1 of phase 2 starts tomorrow so I've gotta get some zzzzz's.

Thank you all for your support... seriously :)

Sensory Overload

Blissful existence didn't happen today. boo

I figure that tomorrow will be my day of "oh, this was a great idea and yes- I can totally do this" ...maybe ;P

If it turns out not to be the day that keeps me going than I suppose I'll just have to keep going until that day arrives. I know I can do it but we all need those little moments of cheeriness to keep us swimming through the mud.

My senses have been working overtime today. Eyesight is marvelous... seeing everything in the pantry that is not good for me... not so marvelous... eyes staying stuck on said items, crappy. lol

The smells of cooking food have been constant. Nona's stuffing was made early today and it smelled delightful which got me thinking about Thanksgiving, which in turn got me thinking about cookie making for Christmas... yeah, weird how your brain can just jump a couple months at the smell of something familiar. Anyway, survived all that.

Sometime later sloppy joe's were made. Now, I don't even like sloppy joe's but because I was staring at a glass full of green goop, they sounded and smelled wonderful. lol. All I have to focus on is the fact that I haven't needed any Tums throughout these last 4 days and yeah... I'd be tossing back a good handful if I was to indulge. Not worth it. Plus, I'm totally waiting for the day of bliss. I don't want to miss it :)

As I write this, the hypnotizing, mouth-watering aroma of a neighbor's barbeque is wafting through the house. Lord help me. haha

Oh. The other part of this day that has been food-focused is my book. Sheesh, I just can't escape. I'm reading "The Help" and so far, they are either preparing to cook, cooking, eating or cleaning up after eating. lol. Great book by the way, I recommend it... umm, might wanna wait til the day of bliss comes before starting it though.

Speaking of cleaning up-- it seems as though I am spending soooooo much time cleaning up after vegetables. lol. I mean, how hard should this be? Rinse them, vroom them, drink them, wash up. There's just such a mess from all the pulp stuck to the little screen thing that it takes me 15 minutes just for that part. (I might be going a little overboard making sure it's super clean but I have these OCD issues and avoiding germs or damaged parts keeps me scrubbing.) Anyway, each time I pull the juicer apart I dribble all the way to the sink and each time it happens I'm like... duh, you did this last time, put down a damn napkin. grrr

By the way, to all you supporters out there... THANK YOU! You are too kind :D

Day of bliss... I await thee!

Day 3 sponsored by Deadmau5

All day long the lyrics running through my head... especially in the cranky moments... "Raise your weapons... raise your weapons..."

I'm not exactly sure if it's because I want to fire them or if I feel like I'm dodging bullets. Whichever it may be... it's helped me survive.

Alright, so perhaps survive makes it seem like I've been on the brink of destruction and it really hasn't been that bad. Maybe somewhere just on this side of the front line ;)

Physically there are some minor ailments, pretty much the same as yesterday but with a little extra cramping in my legs thrown in for good measure... must be doing something right.

The hard part today has been more mental. Perhaps slight depression, but not like others have described it (crying in bed all day). Of course, even if it did feel that bad... a 2 year old and a partner on bed rest wouldn't be an environment to enable that behavior. The mood swings; contingent on hunger, bring on mild to extreme crankiness in 3 seconds flat. Unlike yesterday, hunger has plagued me nearly every hour. Thankfully, I have a very understanding and supportive family! Right honey? ;-}

I'm not entirely sure what to do about that other than... keep vrooming up some tasty vegetable and fruit drinks. I made a hearty vegetable soup last night that has helped sustain me but it's pretty amazing how quickly the stuff is digested and the hunger resurfaces. This being the 5 days that I'm allowed to blend the eating and juicing of fruits and vegetables has been a bit of a relief because there is quite a bit of preparation time that is involved with juicing and I have yet to figure out a good system. With 2 days left... I better figure it out or I'm going to be one cranky bitch during the next phase :P

Okay, so there's the daily update. The day is coming to a close and I couldn't be happier about it. Supposedly day 4 is bliss... we'll see about that :D

Me... Vegan??

I've made day 2 my bitch!

Who ever would have thought that I would be able to classify myself in the "vegan" category... like, ever?? I never even bothered to go through the, "I'm a vegetarian" phase as a kid. But, here I am, no meat, no dairy, sheesh... nothing but fruits and veggie's. Go me! :P

I've always thought about the vegans as complete whacko's... healthy whacko's but you know, still nuts. Since I was crazy to begin with I suppose that I blend into the category just fine.

The odd thing about not eating meat or indulging in any dairy products is that I was raised in a place where people kill animals for food... I know people that show cows at the state fair and I'm assuming, eventually eat them (I could be wrong there). My point being, It's just not anything I'm used to.

So, how am I feeling? Well, everything I've read said to expect to feel like complete shit, that I would be laying in bed crying and have absolutely no energy... not the case! Hopefully, day 2's horrible reputation doesn't catch up with me double time tomorrow.

Overall, I feel pretty good. Mild headache but that's really nothing new; pains in all the normal spots from the robbery-also, not new; and some very random charlie horse's and cramps in joints which just encouraged me to drink a ton more water. I've either got a high threshold for pain or the worst is yet to be seen. oh boy :-/

A small benefit today is a 4 pound loss. Water weight... and well, you know --had to be really careful with random coughing or sneezing-- I'm cleeeean. If you get my drift.

The super happiness of the process so far... I haven't taken even 1 Tums since the night before I started this. Huge motivator right there! I can't tell you how many Tums was being consumed because I honestly have no clue but if I had any better foresight, I would've bought stock!

Day 2 is nearly over and all is well... please be kind to me day 3 ;-)

The Beginning That Starts At The End

...The end of what? Good question. There needs to be an end to the constant beginning of "finding" myself.
How does one truly look for themselves? Perhaps with a therapist or a trainer like Jillian Michaels that breaks your body down into mere basic molecules consuming all borders of emotion and physical control until submission is reached.
What if I'm not one of the people that can handle that type of (what's the word?) abuse? honesty? Probably a very fine line between the two.

So what's the story you ask?
Well, I am searching for the "little" person inside myself.

One aspect would be your typical, "loving my inner child" that has persevered through some horrendous situations that sent me seeking a way to move through life without being noticed but at the same time, looking for love and acceptance.
Another would be getting honest with myself. Looking in the mirror and seeing the full reality of the physical person that is standing before me. I want to notice and respect who I am now as I move towards transformation. I can't see a littler me, if I'm not looking and paying attention.
The idea of polar opposites comes to mind when I consider what I really want and how I have gone about denying myself all that a person craves by covering my body with extra layers to protect that fragile person that's buried deep inside.

The brutally honest part.... I'm 5'2" tall (a munchkin) and I'm 301 pounds (a round munchkin)
I wouldn't typically post my weight for random people... especially for those that know me but really... who am I kidding? It's not like it's not noticeable.

Today is day 1 of the 5-5-5 juicing program. Five days of blending eating fruits and veggies and juicing. Five days of just juicing then back to five days of blending again.
I should mention that I'm not giving up my coffee. I only drink it black and 2-3 cups a day. Perhaps that defeats the purpose to some degree but sheesh, I have to draw the line somewhere!

Here begins... another beginning of finding the "little" me that's hiding.