Do Vegans Eat Eggs?...

I know, I know... of course they don't.

Have you ever just reeeeeeeeally wanted to eat eggs? Ok, maybe I'm alone in this desire but I can not express how much I want eggs.

I feel like I could go into a Forest Gump rant about eggs...

-hard-boiled eggs

-soft-boiled eggs

-deviled eggs

-fried eggs

-omelets- ohhhh... that sounds soooo good!

So, you get the idea right? I'm Jones'ing for eggs. Ridiculous!

Anyway, this whole egg situation has got me thinking. I mean, if I allow myself to eat eggs, than I might as well eat dairy... I do miss cheese... especially in an omelet :P

What's stopping me?

I have some insane sense of duty to stay on the straight and narrow path for you all. You were there for me when I bitched and whined during my juice fast and have continued to offer support and I feel like I would be letting you down. Just writing that down makes me sound even crazier than I feel. Good grief!

Since I can't realistically live for the approval of my adoring fans (thank goodness I never became a rock star, haha) I have to make a eggstravagant decision in the best interest of myself, my sanity and my family.

Do any of you know how much smoother my household would run if I ate dairy? I know that I am loved but oh boyyyy... my "special diet" can be pretty restricting and cause a little bitterness trying to prepare meals.

It really would open up a lot of opportunity to actually eat the same foods- to some degree. I refuse to even consider meat. Not only am I afraid that I would get sick but I really like not eating meat.

Here's my proposal... run an experiment with eggs and a small amount of dairy for a couple weeks- or less if it looks like it's causing more problems than it's solving. By then, maybe the obsession will be out of my system and I can just get back to being a vegan again. If after the holidays dairy is still present, I will be doing another juice fast and that would be a good time to return to a plant-based diet.

Since finishing the juicing program and introducing the whole grains, my weight has plateaued. No loss and I've actually been fighting to keep 2 pounds from reappearing. They come back, then I lose them, then they return. ugh.

Some of the problem may be that I'm feeling so restricted so the things that I can have are not being limited. Brown rice is good but not if I eat enough to fill a vat. Ok, not that extreme but you get the idea.

Oh, and I've discovered many vegan cookie recipe's and do I need to explain my cookie obsession? They just make me feel... umm... pretty ;)

I love them, they love me.

I had to make a rule for myself one year to limit cookie consumption... if I wanted them, I had to make them from scratch. That actually helped because no matter the desire, sometimes you just don't want to go through all that hassle.

So.... What have I decided?

hmmm.... decision making is not my strong suit but I think I'm going to introduce eggs and a little dairy into my diet. Nothing extreme. I can't/won't drink regular milk. blecht. I think I'm just going to be a little less extreme with my cooking and maybe the fact that I "can't" have something will remove the desire to actually want it. Do you know what I mean? Am I the only person in the world that thinks like this? Aaaagggghhhh... I feel so frickin crazy! 8-)

Well, I hope this experiment works and that I'm not disappointing too many people. I'll keep you up to date with how it goes.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!

My hope is that your holiday is fun and drama free :D

Glad you're not dead day

Today is the six year anniversary of the "big" robbery at work that I was injured in. I was violently beaten and left with a broken shoulder, jacked up knee, neck and back... not to mention the psychological aspects of such a crime.

So... I always try to predict how I'm going to feel about this day. I visualize gratitude, laughter, and strength. I don't remember how I handled previous years, it's like this is the first one... again.

Don't get me wrong... I am grateful-- more than can possibly be expressed. I am very blessed!

I have--

--a beautiful, kind, generous & supportive partner

--a daughter that has become such a wonderful human being that any mom would be super proud

--an amazing little boy and girl that bring me joy daily

--a home, income and all basic necessities

I have all that and so much more. I have more than many people. I am loved. I am grateful.

I'm also sad.

There's just no understanding the emotions I'm feeling right now. A blend of just about everything and that's pretty overwhelming.

I'm indecisive.

Part of me wants to celebrate life. Go out and do something fun to prove to myself that I'm alive for a reason and that I'm making the most of my survival.

Part of me wants to stay inside and wait for the day to end. It's like I'm afraid to push my luck because maybe the next situation will be the last.

Pretty irrational I know but it's how my mind is working.

When I visualized my reaction to how the day would go this year, I had not planned on crying while cleaning counters... cleaning counters- yes... crying while doing it- not so much.

Cleaning has always been a good outlet for me when stressed, kind of like a way to work myself away from depression.

That isn't working for me this time. It's like I just can't get up the gumption to push myself. Kinda lost the depression battle this hour. Hopefully I'll catch up and take the lead in the next couple of hours.

Sometimes I wish I could remember what I did the last time and if it was successful so I could either avoid it or repeat the process. Weird how my mind works and has this insane ability to just throw stuff in a folder, lock it in a cabinet and never be seen by the light of day again... or until it's absolutely the most inappropriate time to remember something.

Alright... that's enough whining for now. I mean seriously, I'm alive. I have a pretty awesome life. I'll go put on some One Republic, hop in the shower and let the music heal me a little bit. Maybe I'll shed some more tears for whatever reason they are there and just take the day minute by minute.

To my family... I love you! If I didn't have you all, your love and support, I can't say that this would be a day worth getting out of bed for. Thank you!!

(sorry to end a sentence with 'for'- I know that's against English rules. lol)

To my friends... a big thank you to you all. The small and large reminders that other's care about lil ole me softens my heart.

Naughty November

Hello my loyal followers... I'm alive and I'm still vegan :)

Sorry I have been absent from the blogging world. I haven't really felt like I've had much to say although that probably means I should have been saying something. Silence is isolating.

The family is doing well. We are all adjusting to having a newborn in the house and it's been such a blessing. Gosh, what is it that makes babies just so cute? Love, love, love!

Unfortunately, everyone (but me) has been sick with a cold for nearly 3 weeks. ugh. I'll chalk up my escape from illness to my extreme vegetable intake :P

So Halloween has come and gone and I made it through with 5 pieces of candy corn and a vegan pizza. lol. We had so much fun trick or treating and we have enough candy in the house that we could have people treating at our house for months to come. Good grief!

With success over Halloween, I'm trying to keep positive about Thanksgiving. I don't want to be naughty in November because that will make being good during Christmas a real bitch! lol. Problem is, I really do like turkey and have actually toyed with the idea that I could give myself a little reprieve and eat some turkey but after all absence of meat and dairy for nearly 2 months I'm a little afraid that I'll just get sick. Right now I am looking into Tofurkey... hmm... I'll keep you posted. lol

Historically November is soooo not my month.

With the exception of Thanksgiving, it seems as though the universe aligns in such a way that odd, random and typically awful things happen. There is no definitive pattern although one incident in particular has marked me for life physically and emotionally.

Yes... I'm talking about the robbery. Feel free to quit reading now if you wish-- you can pick up the rest of the reading closer to the bottom where I get back to my vegan journey ;)

On the 13th it will be six years since I was robbed at work. I know there's no timeline for being "all better" but I wish that some things weren't so daunting... like the dark. I mean heck, the robbery was in the morning. Why do I have to be afraid of November nights? Ugh.

Anyway, along with the random things to fear, I deal with the physical pain daily and unless by some miracle all my cells are replaced and rejuvenated (reading a paranormal book about that right now, lol) then the likeliness is that I will deal with the chronic pain indefinitely. Some days are better than others and stress tends to make the inflammation flare up so November's anxiety keeps me popping ibuprofen like candy and of course there's a little more consumption of the happy pills ;)

So... what exactly does all of this have to do with my vegan journey?

I'm having a hard time keeping strong with my food choices. There hasn't been any slipping as of yet and I don't imagine there will be. It's just a mental thing that plagues me when I'm feeling a little down.

I'm running an extended experiment to see if the food choices help alleviate the physical pain and more importantly, help keep the depression and anxiety on the low side of the spectrum so I absolutely need to stay strong.

I'm doing better this year than last but the jury is out as to what the reasoning might be. Maybe I'm just coping better this year due to more distraction (Logan and Madison) or... maybe the anniversary date isn't here yet so perhaps I should reserve judgement. Either way, I'm not balking at the fact that so far November isn't as horrible as some years have been and I'm keeping hope that it continues to improve.

Hope you all are doing well and have a Happy Thanksgiving if I don't get back to blogging before then but I will try my best to be more consistent :)